Between Love and Loyalty
by Star-BeningluvIndonesia
Summary: When they must choose between their heart or their loyalty to the country.


**Between Love and Loyalty**

_**Disclaimer:**_

_**Kiku Honda – Himaruya Hidekazu**_

_**Story and Plot - Star-BeningluvIndonesia**_

_**OCs - Star-BeningluvIndonesia**_

_**Warning:**_

_**OOC, really bad grammatical error!**_

**A/N: **Hello, Readers! This is my first english project. Hope you enjoy it! Sorry for Grammatical Error!

"Speaking" = You can say it's English.  
><em>"Speaking"<em> = Another language

**Enjoy **

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It has been a while since the East Country and the North Country build a bilateral relationship. It started when both countries found huge petroleum content in the border. Soon, bilateral relationship formed to prevent a monopoly action from both countries. And it has been promised that they will divide the result of mining equally. Based from this, both countries then form an economic and military alliance, which makes me met her, my first love.

Ilyusha Nikolayeva Sokolov. We met each other when she became the representative for North Country National Defense. And I fall in love since our eyes locked together. Her amethyst – deep purple iris and my earthly brown eyes met, and her firm but gentle grip in my hand made my heart skipped a beat. She's a very beautiful creature that I never know even existed. For more than 30 year I've lived, I never felt this kind of feeling in my heart.

"Pleasure, Admiral Honda." It was her first sentence spoken to me. Soon we grow closer and closer and I know that I really love her from the deep of my heart.

"This is our biggest destroyer, Fuyunoshio 12. It can carry around 20 heavy artillery and 45 light artillery. It also can carry around 10 jet planes and 5 helicopters." I said. She sent a quick glance at the ship and write down something on her pocket note. "How many crews are employed here? Is this ship always used in military operation?" she asked while walking closer to me. "The crew consist around 250 people and this type of destroyer is one of our most trusted leading ship in every operation." I answered. She humming and said, "Such a beautiful ship with a great role."

I smiled. I'm glad I could make her satisfied. "Maybe you should see my cruiser, Admiral Honda. Sagalevich 4 is the best cruiser from North Country." She said. "The name is after one of our heroes for sea exploring, Dmitri Sagalevich." I nodded, "I'm sure it is. North Country always be the leader of Ship making. We really are glad the North Country made an alliance with us."

She smiles brightly on my statement. "We're really glad too." She said. We let our hair playfully swayed by the wind. We do nothing but staring at the ship. Wondering what is behind her smile. The sun is slowly setting, and the horn from a ship heard. The time has come for the ships to take a rest from their training.

"Guess it's time to go home isn't it?" she asked suddenly. Her figure is now facing mine. The orange-yellowish sun rays bathed her face, mixed perfectly with her eyes. "Thank you for today." She said. She turns and walked away, a man following her. He's her aide, a captain just like mine.

When their bodies disappear, my aide speaks. "I'm so sorry, Admiral. But I didn't really trust Admiral Sokolov."

"Why?" I asked.

"I think she's planning something. She always writes down everything you say about the crew, the ships, and the army. And I remember a rumor about the North Country." He answered. I turn my body to face him. "A rumor…?" I asked. He nodded. "It says that the North Country is planning to start a war in order to controlling the oil mining at the border."

"Yuuki, you know the treaty said _both_ country will have the _same _control over the mining. Besides, there's no way Admiral Sokolov being a spy. She's a representative. She says a few things about North Country Naval Force activity too, isn't it?" I said to Yoshiro Yuuki, my aide. He's always protective to me. A little bit too protective.

I sighed. I think I must bear with his statement for a while until I could show that he was wrong…

.

.

.

"_How is it going?"_

"_Too easy…"_

"_Even a slight suspicion?"_

"_нет." (1)  
><em>

"_Илюша, __товарищ__… __Ты его любишь?__" (2)  
><em>

"…"

"_Вы знаете, вы не можете…" (3)  
><em>

_._

_._

_._

The wind is getting colder. The clear plain blue of ocean start to mixed with ice. The clear white sky slightly turns to grey. This is it. The North Country.

"Welcome to North Country, Admiral Kiku Honda. My name is Sergei Valevach Anikanov, the General of North Country National Defense. I will be your guide in your visit today." I'm a little bit disappointed when see another person welcoming me. I really miss her. "Pleasure, General." I replied and following him alongside Yuuki.

I see many ships decked. Each of them has their own names. 'I wonder which is Ilyusha's cruiser. Salagevich 4 isn't it…?' I thought. Just like reading my mind, General Anikanov let out a chuckle and said, "Salagevich 4 and its crew are leading an operation in northern part of North Country. The rebellion happened there is getting worse." I see. I heard a lot of people is rebelling in northern part of North Country. They want to be independent but seems like the government didn't want to let them go easily.

"_Sugoi_…" I said. We're in the main deck of North Country naval headquarter. We just see all type of North Country's ship. The collection and information is amazing! 'Just as expected from North Country…' I thought to myself.

"I'm sure…" General Anikanov said. "I'm sure you'll be more satisfied with Ilyusha…"

"E-etto…" A slight blush appeared on my cheeks. 'W-well that's true…' I thought. General Anikanov chuckles. "She's great isn't it? She's only 28 when she's promoted to be an Admiral…" He said. I couldn't help but only stare. Is she really that great? I just receive this rank last year but she has been an Admiral for two years…

"Well! Shall we continue?" He said. I nodded and following him again.

.

'Fyuuh… Finally it's done…" I said to myself. "The General surely is friendly…" Yuuki said. I nodded. "Yes, you ri‒"

I froze.

What's happening here?!

"W-What the hell is happening here?! GUARDS!" Yuuki shouted. Soon, almost 10 men came to my messy room. The drawers all out of place and the document safe have opened; the entire document inside has gone. "Yuuki." I called.

Seems like he didn't hear me. "Yuuki." Twice. He keeps ignoring me. "YOSHIRO YUUKI!" I said loudly. Every soldier froze. Yuuki froze too. Then he realized that he has abandoned me, and kneeled down. "I-I'm so sorry, Admiral! I was really panic a-and‒"

"There's no use. Whoever done this must've leave the ship. The only thing we can do is report this to Defense Minister and the other military officials." I said. "Yuuki. Command to go at full speed!" He gives a quick nod and then run away to the control room with the soldiers. I only can stand there in shock. Whoever broke into my room, stole the key and documents must have an inner connection. How can these happenings? I still don't know too.

.

.

.

(Ilyusha's POV)

"Admiral Solokov, your presence have been awaited in meeting hall." A soldier said to me. At first I was really happy because the operation was a success. Soon I'll finally able to meet Kiku again. But it seems like I'll have another task. So I say, "Okay." then walked away.

Soon, I reached the meeting hall. When I come in, every eye landed on me. I felt a bad news will come. "Are you calling me, my Tsar?" I said while kneeled down before the Tsar of North Country. "Yes. I know you must be tired after demolishing the rebels in the border. But…"

I lifted my head and facing the Tsar. In my heart I wish it's not that plan. In my heart I wish it doesn't fight him.

"I want you to lead the army to East Country. Anikanov has got everything you need to attack." He said. I completely shocked. No. No. No! I can't! He's too kind. I-I didn't want to fight him. Because…, because I fall in love with‒

"Are you listening, Ilyusha?"

"Y-yes, of course." I answered. This is it. I know it will come. The day when I finally must gave up my feeling to him. I shouldn't have fall in love with him after all. It was purely my fault. I've failed as an Admiral. I'll end this. I'll end everything.

.

.

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(Kiku's POV)

When we arrived at headquarter, a commotion is happening. Everyone keep saying that North Country will attack East Country to take over the mining. "It seems like the rumor is true, Admiral." Yuuki said. I quickly go to the Hall and greeted by the stern face of my Defense Minister. "Finally you came." He said.

I can't say a word, but seems like the condition is so bad. "There's something happening in your ship right?" he asked. I nodded. "Someone has broken to my office and stole all battle plan documents." I answered. The Minister sighed. "Then we don't have anything to regret."

The uneasiness in my heart grows bigger. I sense something bad is going to happen.

"_You must bring your fleet to fight the North Country."_

_._

_._

_._

How many times I try to resist it. How many times I try to not believe it. Everything I do is pointless. Someone I really love the most is betraying me. Someone I trust the most. 'Ilyusha…' I thought.

"ENEMIES' SPOTTED!" Someone says. "Go to your position and prepare for the worst! Remember! Our enemy is the powerful North Country!" I commanded. Everyone start to rush. Almost 350 crews of Fuyunoshio 12 start to prepare the guns, artillery, and shield.

I hold my binocular in front of my eyes. The horizon now filled with the shadow of North Country's battleships. 'Kamisama…, don't let her be the one in charge… It will be hurt so much…' I prayed. Soon, the flagship, a big cruiser type with North Country's flag appeared. Stand tall, the name carved on the side stand out proudly. Salagevich 4.

"Ilyusha… No…"

It's really broke my heard when I saw her there. In a complete uniform she stands. A smirk formed on her face. The distance is now close enough for me to see her with my own eyes. The smile on her face has disappeared. A hint of guilt showed in her eyes. "Admiral…" Yuuki called me. I hung my head down. It's really painful. "Tch…"

"Command to give a trial attack. Point it to the left side of enemy's flagship. If its reach the side, we'll go in full attack." I explained to him. He quickly sent the comment to the control room. And then,

BOOM‒!

The first bomb launched. But as I thought, our bomb didn't even reach the tip of Ilyusha's ship. It landed around 50 meters in front of her ship. I saw her whispering something to her aide, and then a command shouted in North Country's language. And then, a fire lit up in one of Salagevich's artillery.

BOOM‒! DUAR!

My ship is going shaky as the bomb hit the side of my ship. "ADVANCE! FULL SPEED AND ATTACK!" I commanded loudly.

And all hell breaks loose.

Both of us start to attack each other. One, two, three, four ships sank. The ocean scent mixed with blood and gunfire. The blue ocean decorated with ship pieces. The condition here's really chaotic. No one wants to lose. Friends turn to enemies, trust to disappointment, love to hate.

No. I can't hate her.

.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

.

The sound of bombing.

.

SPLASH! BYUR!

.

The sound of ship sunk to the depth.

.

"SAVE YOUR LIFE!"

.

The voice of frightened soldiers, beg for their life.

.

It's like 3 hours straight in the battle, yet both of us didn't want to surrender. I don't know what's happen, but a fatal explosion from my artillery hit the side of her ship. "NOO!" I screamed. Ilyusha's ship begin to sunk, but she keep standing there. Only a forced smile on her face. Only that. And at the time I see her smile, I know she let me win. I know she can dodge the bomb, but she didn't.

"…!" I see her lips moved. I couldn't barely hear or read the movement on her lips. But I know whatever she say, it was something I really want her to say.

"_Я люблю тебя, Kiku…"_

_._

_._

_._

(Someone's POV)

"… The last time I saw her is when her ship sunk. I really want to save her but I couldn't do it. Someone once said that its better an Admiral dies with his or her ship. But I just couldn't help but cry. It really broke my heart when I realize she loves me back, but she chooses to keep silent. Her loyalty to the country is bigger. Just like mine.

For you, the one who'll replace me, my next generations, remember that loving someone is an option. When I face two difficult options, I sacrifice my love to keep my loyalty to my country, my homeland. I never could forget her, but what I know is she'll support my decision. I know she'll agree with me.

My love story is so tragic. But I know it was a way to makes me stronger. So now I'll end this journal. I hope this writing will makes you understand, my sons, my daughters, that there's someone I really love the most before your mother, grandmother, and so on. Let the god brings you happiness.

‒Kiku Honda"

I fold the paper carefully. It was like the 10th time I read it. The journal written by my great grandfather, Kiku Honda. A journal full of admiration and love to someone she really loves the most. ."Kiku! Don't just sit there all day!" I heard my mom calling from downstairs. "Go out and makes some friends ok?" My mother said. I grab my shoes and put it on. Well, taking a walk will be good…

.

Bump!

"Ah! Sorry!" I said. "No problem." The one bumped with me answered. I lift my head to see whose have bumping to me. And what I saw is a pair of beautiful amethyst with silver blonde hair and training suit. "New tenant?" she asked. I nodded. "Who's your name?" I asked. "My name? You better introduce yourself first, gentleman…" she said. I couldn't help but let out a chuckle, "Kiku Honda. Nice to meet you…" I answered.

Yes. My name is exactly the same like my great grandfather because I have too many similarities with him. And then she say a name that really familiar with me.

.

"Nice to meet you, Honda. My name is Sokolov, Ilyusha Nikolayeva Sokolov…"

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><strong>

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**The End**

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A/N: Sooooooo~~ That's all! Please enjoy and if you want to criticize then I will gladly accept. Aaaannnnndd..., maybe you will think why I didn't use fem!Russia as the female character. It's because I want to introduce my new OC, Ilyusha Nikolayeva Sokolov! Well, this is some translation:

(1) Nyet: No

(2) _Ilyusha, tovari__shch__… Ty__ yego lyubish'? __= Ilyusha, comrade... Do you love him?_

_(3) Vy znayete, vy ne mozhete... = You know you can't..._

_Thanks for reading and REVIEW~_


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